Belle
Belle is a renaissance woman who lives to please.
Whether teaching young Bart Simpson about personal responsibility or servicing the Springfield Isotopes baseball team, Belle always has a smile on her face.
She's looking for a nice middle-aged man with the libido of a man half that age, or a lifetime supply of Viagra.
So if you're looking for a bottle of properly aged fun... ring this Belle.
Joan Bushwell
Joan loves chimps. She loves them so much that she's enslaved several of them to work themselves to death in her diamond mines.
Joan believes that goals are what give life true meaning, and her goal is to steal as many precious stones as she can.
Joan is looking for a guy who is willing to rape the landscape for jewels.
You know... someone with common interests who doesn't mind the overwhelming scent of monkey poo.
Diabetty
Diabetty's large, lovely, and can down a six foot submarine sandwich in one sitting. She's the kind of girl with whom you can kick back and have a brew while you watch a football game... if you can fit her industrial strength bed in the room, that is.
She lives with her cousin Cletus until Mr. Right comes along and sweeps her off her feet. You just provide the crane!
If you're looking for a lot of girl with a lot of love to give... and you have a lifetime supply of Ding Dongs... Betty might just be the gal for you.
Mrs. Muntz
Wife... mother... actress... stripper. Mrs. Muntz is a true Renaissance woman.
An incredible multitasker, she can down a six-pack of Duff while chain-smoking a carton of Laramies and eating a platter of Krusty Burgers... all while completely ignoring her son, Nelson. When she's not stealing a new wardrobe from the laundromat or face down in a pool of her own vomit, Mrs. Muntz will drink you under the table... and she has the cirrhosis scars to prove it!
If you want a good time with no strings attached, meet Mrs. Muntz.
Vicki Valentine
Vicki Valentine’s star shines brighter than all the others in Springfield... or, maybe it did when she was child superstar L'il Vicki.
Now, Vicki's all grown up and spends her days helping awkward children discover their inner dance machines.
If you want a lady who will "tappa, tappa, tappa" her way into your heart but won't stomp all over it, try a two-step with Vicki.
Miss Springfield
Miss Springfield is one of the town's greatest representatives. This perennial pageant participant loves politics, and has a particular affinity for city officials. She's constantly visiting Mayor Quimby's office to offer her own brand of political wrangling. Miss Springfield rarely leaves the house without her sash. She says, "If i didn't wear it, people wouldn't know who I was."
Recently broken up from a mystery man she only refers to as Joe, Miss Springfield is looking for a guy who loves her for her mind rather than her looks. Good luck with that.
Boobarella
Boobarella is a Springfield icon who's well aware of her assets.
After years of struggling to break into showbiz, she finally made it onto the big screen in the classic film, "Boobarella: Mistress of the Dusk." Sadly, after such a stunning debut, the only way for Boobarella to go was down. Nowadays, she can be seen introducing Grade Z fright films on Channel 6.
Boobarella is looking for a nice guy who looks her in the face while he’s talking to her.
Lindsey Naegle
Lindsey is a woman of strong will and no convictions.
An engaging out of the box thinker of the "go go" 2000's, Lindsey likes to speak in stilted buzz words and hackneyed catch phrases.
With the depth of a kiddy pool Lindsey is a firm believer that "it's what's outside that counts."
She wants a rich man to take care of her interests. A handsome spineless dolt who she can bully and control to her random whims.
Agnes Skinner
Agnes is a woman of experience with a lot of love to offer some lucky fella.
She loves her son Seymour, but it’s not that sort of bizarre mother smothering love you might be thinking of.
It’s a perfectly normal relationship... really, we swear!
Agnes is looking for someone to take long walks on the beach, where they can laugh at falling rollerbladers.
Cookie Kwan
Cookie’s a young go-getter in the imploding real-estate industry.
Her incredible beauty helps to distract potential suitors from her brutally demanding personality.
Cookie’s desperately looking for a handsome prince to sweep her off her feet, and buy a nice two bedroom home with an ocean view.
If you’re looking for something sweet, come take a bite out of Cookie.
Eleanor Abernathy
Eleanor might seem crazy, but she’s just misunderstood!
This Harvard and Yale alumn was a lawyer and a doctor who, after a while, decided instead to go into the growing field of feline-pitching. She’s given so many things to so many people... like worms, hairballs and bladder crystals.
Eleanor is looking for a guy who loves cats and doesn’t mind having them thrown at him from time to time.
